Motherhood: The Roles We Wear
How can I begin to describe motherhood? No one can prepare you for the pain so sharp it takes your breath away during labor, or the immediate joy and complete abandon of oneself when you first lay eyes upon your child. Where to begin to describe the love and fear that consumes your days, the restlessness, the hope, the devotion so fierce it threatens to devour you?
Our Many Roles
It’s hard to remember that you are more than just her mother. A wife, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a writer, a poet, a kitchen-singer, a party dancer, a hobby photographer, a city explorer, a travel enthusiast, a book lover, a woman. There are days where your mind twitches with new ideas, passion projects, adventure, excitement, a desire to be alone for more than a few minutes. There are other days when your heart sweetly weeps with its fullness, with its overflowing gratitude. Most often, I want to be consumed. I celebrate this role that took me by surprise by how eager my heart was to step into it. There is no other way for me to love than to love deeply, passionately, all consumingly. I must remember that there is a season for everything under the sun and I must be patient, and present in each moment. I must remember to cultivate a little time for myself here and there. I must remember that there is more to me or else I will be lost when she grows up and leaves. I won’t know who I am without her.
Don’t Let Your Hearts Be Troubled
It's a gray day today, the sun hidden by a sea of clouds, the wind whispering of coming rain. On days like this, my mind is muddled, filled with a jumble of thoughts that beg to be untangled and formed into somewhat coherent lines. My mind settles on a verse from the book of John. “Don’t let your hearts be troubled.” (John 14:1). When Jesus said this to his disciples, the hour for His departure from this world was nearby. They were nervous and uncertain. Who were they without Him? How would they survive alone? When Thomas asked Jesus how they would know where to go, Jesus replied one of His most famous I AM statements. “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” (John 14:6). He was reminding them that regardless of their questions, He was the answer. He reminds us that now.
I am the way, the truth, and the life.
We don many hats. We juggle many parts. We wear our roles like clothing on our skin, switching into this and that. I am all those things mentioned above. I am more than just a mother and also a mother. This question of identity points to a higher purpose, a higher calling, a higher role. Above all the things that I am, I am a child of God, a daughter of the King. I know who I am in Christ. This means that there is purpose in all my roles and every season, whether busy or still, holds an equal amount of significance because it all points to Him. Whether wiping a runny nose, writing poetry, catching up with friends, the daily routine of work- may it all be done for His glory, in love and with purpose. There is beauty in the mundane, lessons learned in the confusion, and discovery to be explored in the in-between. It all holds weight; it all holds meaning. When I am overwhelmed, I can remember that He is with us in our insecurities, in our fears, and doubts. We can remember that we don’t have to let our hearts be troubled. When we are riddled with questions, may we remember that we know the Answer. We know the way. May it lead us straight into His loving arms.
“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.” Colossians 3:23-24 NLT
